Sometimes... it's time to lead.
Other times... it's time to SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Just wanted to get that off my chest.
I've been feeling emboldened ever since I read that book about Introverts. It made a lot of sense of my behavior, made it okay to be one and kind of just fit right in with exactly what I was thinking and feeling: it's a GIFT not a CONDITION.
All that being an introvert means is I see the world different. I process things different and I interpret different.
The thing about that, is it means that my inputs and outputs translate differently and so what works for others isn't likely to work for me and vice-versa. And that's where this whole feeling comes in of: I'M NOT YOU, SO STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME LIKE YOU!!!
Unfortunately, a lot of this anger is toward my friend Matt from Texas. He's trying to help me develop, but I'm becoming convinced that he just flat-out doesn't know how. He's teaching me what works (for him and others like him), which makes sense and is to be expected, but he won't hear information from me. All he seems to be able to do is shoot me this high energy leadership preaching, which doesn't do me a damned bit of good.
I wish I could wake this world (country?) up to the FACT that there's more than one way to do things. And in fact, there HAS to be, otherwise anyone who is remotely different will never be able to adapt.
I've come up with this thought: there are as many paths to success as there are people.
And there HAS to be. This seems almost like a quantitative law! Especially if we're to believe in the power and importance of the individual and that everyone is different. This is really just simple math. Both sides of the equation must be equivalent, so if you change one side (the person) you must change the other (the path to success). I don't see any wiggle room for argument on that, but convincing people of it is an insane uphill battle.
Now... fair enough, I've never had success so I can't say things with any certainty, but there's also this... I HAVEN'T HAD SUCCESS! I've followed these prescriptions. I've "put my ego aside" and "been coachable" and still haven't had success. Maybe someone like me isn't MEANT to turn their brain (ego) off. Maybe I'm intuitive enough that that's precisely my source of power and I NEED it to succeed.
At least that's what I believe now.
And I just wish "leaders" would get that.
That's my ninja way. And any incongruency with that shakes my confidence to the core. An absolutely necessary tenant for any leader.
I'm just venting though.
I know it won't change.
I just need an outlet. It's tough to stick to what I know when so many people are telling me I'm wrong. But I've let that go before and it hasn't paid off yet. I have to be strong and stubborn this time and (if it works as I believe it will) for all time.
Cause in the end... I'm responsible for my own results. And that being the case... I think I'll go my own way this time.
"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead, where there is no path and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson