A lot of what I do these days, I do for him. Of course, I spent a lot of time with Crystal (that I now regret), but other than that, it's all about him and me. And I only say me, because if I don't consider my own condition then I won't be able to provide the most to him. It's been tough to start accepting certain things I've been stuck with, but I HAVE to do my best for him, even if it's not ultimately the best possible. As soon as Bonnie left... that was impossible anyway. And unless I'm willing to marry the first idiot that's willing, I can't provide to him the way I need to.
Link and I have this amazing relationship. There's such a strong bond of love and trust. I wish he could always be with me and I'm pretty sure he wants the same, but the idiot (his mother) won't let that happen. She seems to think she's God's gift to the planet and hasn't done anything wrong at all. Fucking woman is brain dead.
WOMEN are brain dead.
But I digress.
I'm working on it. I know she wants primary custody and I'm trying to dangle that carrot in front of her to catalyze the changes I need to see in her to trust her with my kid. And simultaneously make sure that when the time is right, he comes home to me. He's my son... he's always been my son, more than he's been her son (at least the last few years). I have to do what's right, but unfortunately to really make good things happen I have to conform to a system that is BIASED against men/fathers and do what I can considering that. It doesn't matter that she's a terrible mother, as long as she doesn't pose an imminent threat to the child. And people wonder why society is so fucked up.
That aside... he needs help. My boy is so stressed in his situation, and I suspect he has some sort of learning disorder or developmental delay. Whatever it is, we'll overcome it, but I want to know. I need to get him assessed.
That considered... we've made significant strides together.
It's hard to get him interested in something that's not video games (he's my son after all), but we get to do numbers and letters from time to time.
Actually, it blew my mind... he couldn't count to ten or recite his ABCs after 8 months in pre-school/daycare (which made me wonder what the fuck they were doing with him), but we got to ten after just a little practice and now we're working towards twenty. I want him to hit one hundred by Kindergarten if it's at all possible and recite his ABCs (which is proving challenging) without looking.
And that's partly why I think he has a learning disorder. He struggles with patterns and large amounts of data memorization. Which... the memory thing is also something I struggled with.
We need to do more memory games. I guess I haven't pushed that enough in favor of focusing on the very basics. Gotta work the support muscles though!
Well... to sum it up, he'll be 5 in two weeks. He's said he wants about 5 different kinds of birthdays, but I think we're going to do a Minecraft thing since he really seems to love that game.
"In order to improve yourself, you have to become not you." Wyatt Woodsmall